People always say: “Not everyone is gonna like you, and that’s ok, nothing to take personally, it doesn’t matter” yet it still sucks. It sucks when it’s your teacher, it sucks when it’s your boss or co-worker or family member. It even sucks when it’s a friends friend or someone we barely know. It hurts. And you do not have to gaslight yourself into thinking that it doesn’t hurt when it does. You’re allowed to be upset when life is hard. You’re allowed to feel an emotion, even more when it makes perfect logical sense. We talk to a friend about our feelings, journal, reflect, use coping skills. We find peace after a while, that’s a more realistic solution. You got this. It will be ok.
Not to be dramatic or anything but as a lesbian what saved my life was realizing that attraction is supposed to feel good
If your attraction to men makes you viscerally uncomfortable, distressed, and feels like a fulfillment of a default obligation rather than something that produces good and exciting feelings, perhaps it isn’t attraction
This articulates it well! If men hitting on you fills you with horror movie dread like it does for me, those are not good nerves!
Another good addition! Feeling flattered does not equal attraction, for a lot of people, especially if the world treats you badly, someone finding you attractive makes you feel like a person. Everyone wants to be cared for/loved. That doesn’t equate to attraction either.
Another thing to add is that trauma and emotional, psychological, and physical self-harm tendencies may make this a lot worse and more difficult to disentangle. If you find yourself in situations with men where you need to force yourself to do something because you think “you deserve it.” Or “I want to feel bad/disgusting/ruined.” That’s not attraction. Which may sound obvious to some but a lot of people have these sorts of impulses unconsciously, especially if they have trauma or struggle with OCD/intrusive thoughts and impulse control.
You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these
I’d leave. This is a sign that my opponent has the most fucked up unethical spells imaginable, and I am not about to be subject to Malchezar’s Piercing Prostate Bomb or something